Embracing the In Between

Clients engage in coaching because they want help navigating a transition. They know that they want something to change in their lives, and they are interested identifying strategies for smoothly transitioning between careers, or roles, or even changing big parts of their lives.

I think of this period of transition as the in between; like merging lanes on a highway; moving from one state to another – slowing down or speeding up, like you were always a part of either state - leaving one position and joining a new one. Whether that state is a stage of life (parenting small children, retirement, starting a new certificate or program, becoming a manager of people, etc.), or a way of being (less easy to define, but when things are changing within you and you can feel it), it is always a somewhat painful process.

The dreaded highway merge is the item that I failed when I attempted my full 'G' Drivers License, as a well-practiced teenager – I didn’t speed up fast enough to meet up with the highway traffic, but I wasn’t experienced or brave enough to know how to get to the speed I needed to get to for my merge to be seamless.

The 'in between' – or merging of lanes or states - is always at least a little bit painful. It can be less painful once you accept two things:

1.        The In Between is Inevitable.  Some people hang on to their original ‘state’ because they are in denial about the shift that is happening within themselves. Accepting that we must change and morph to do the things we need to do to be who we need to be just makes sense!

As kids we do this all the time! We try out lots of different sports or activities, whether its track and field, or swimming, or chess, or piano. We learn and then we decide if it is for us or not. And then we shift and change and morph again. As kids we live in the In Between ALL THE TIME because our parents and our institutions force us to. Its a necessary part of our evolution as children into adults.

2.        The In Between is Good for You.  As adults we get to choose how often we are uncomfortable a lot of the time. And most of the time we chose what's easy. Think about the last time you did something hard when it wasn’t absolutely required? It is rare.

My kid just went to overnight camp – this year’s camp drop off experience was particularly painful as she knew no one in her cabin.  I wanted it to be easy, light and fun for her... Instead, I left her there knowing that it was going to be work for her to make new friends, find common ground, be uncomfortable. She was going to have to sweat a little.

For those of you who have had the fortunate experience of overnight camp as a kid you know this: Those first few days of camp are like doing improv on stage with everyone else all at the same time. Everyone is vulnerable, stepping outside of their familiar 'nests' and embracing the unknown.

Thats what makes it so great. It is necessary, and in some cases its revolutionary. And... It's the only way we grow and get better.

Looking for help with your In Between?  Reach out to book a Complimentary Session today.